Liberals Save Us From The Boy Scouts
The Pentagon has agreed to warn military bases worldwide not to directly sponsor Boy Scout troops, partially resolving claims that the government has engaged in religious discrimination by supporting a group that requires members to believe in God.
The settlement announced Monday is part of a series of legal challenges in recent years over how closely the government should be aligned with the Boy Scouts of America, a venerable organization that boasts a membership of more than 3.2 million members. Civil liberties advocates have set their sights on the organization's policies because the group bans openly gay scout leaders and compels members to swear an oath of duty to God. The ACLU believes that direct government sponsorship of such a program amounts to discrimination.
"If our Constitution's promise of religious liberty is to be a reality, the government should not be administering religious oaths or discriminating based on religious beliefs," said ACLU attorney Adam Schwartz.
Thank God (er, liberals?), for saving us all from the theocratic, homophobic Boy Scouts of America (shouldn't that be the People Scouts of the Global Community?) Yet another politically correct proscription limiting our individual expression and freedom -- by judicial imposition.
(In court, Mr. Schwartz put his hand on a photo of Dan Rather and said, "This is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me Dan.") Thus were all satisfied of the veracity of the testimony. The teary-eyed little fascist scouts were disbanded and dispersed. There was no one left to be offended by God.